Alright. I've got a few things to talk about today, but many of the topics all mix together. So... you're gonna have to try and follow me here.
Despite all of the times that I've tried to be pro-body/all of that stuff, I still have body issues. I still feel fat sometimes, and I still feel like my body isn't up to par with the people around me. I don't think I can really escape the though process easily, the idea is so ingrained in my mind. I know I'm not the only one who thinks about this stuff though.
I bring this up because I was thinking about this during spring break. On one of the later days of the trip, I was feel less than confident about the way I looked. To me, I was the only one who seemed to be eating on this trip. I'd look around, and it felt like I had eaten double what everyone else had eaten. Funny thing- I have this habit of getting hungry. Apparently everyone else could drink their meals instead, and that didn't cut it for me.
I told my mom this, and she was surprised. It seemed that everyone else thought I wasn't eating, which is why they encouraged me to eat so much. I didn't see it.
There were two people in my group who did actually fit this not eating group, and one of them I discovered was because she... well, she might have an eating disorder. Or so I was told. She had actually been about 30 lbs heavier, and recently slimmed down again. Watching her eat, she would have a bite of something and be done. Normal people see this and think, "Oh, she needs to eat more." I see this and think, "Why on earth is she not hungry anymore? Why am I still hungry?" Ridiculous, I know.
The other person I saw eat hardly anything was my aunt, but I don't even want to talk about it. She ate a tad more than the other person, but not much. Guh, I don't even want to think about it, it stresses me out.
One comment I've learned I hate? "Oh, you must have been hungry." That's never a compliment. If someone says this who ate less than you, it feels like an insult. Like you can't control yourself around food or something. I don't need that comment. Personal thought.
Looking back, it's crazy. I have a good body. Sure, there were some girls on spring break that looked way better then I did, but there were PLENTY of girls with worse bodies. Honestly though, I really shouldn't care that much. Like I said, issues.
Another thought I was thinking of was exercise and the body. One of the best comments I've ever received was, "You should do underwear/nude pictures, you have a killer body for it." Before you say anything about how creepy that comment sounds, it was in context. My friend was talking about some pictures like that she and another friend took recently (yes, I know people like this), and it came up. Now, I would never do nude pics EVER. Too risky. You never know who could get access to stuff like that. Once it's in picture form... anywho, the point is looking good naked. Can you see how I'm hopping around today?
The comment actually reminds me of a quote I've read recently. I don't know the exact wording, but it goes something like, "You lose weight to look good in clothes. You exercise to look good naked." Um, how true is that? Well, there are plenty of other reasons to work out, but I think this is a very good reason. Fat and muscle look very different on a body for the same weight. Heck, I've weighed more yet looked more toned, or better. That's why sometimes NSV are better than what you read on the scale.
Which brings me back to spring break. And the no eating. I need food because I need fuel. My body is a machine that needs to be re-energized. Therefore, I need to eat. I like having a body that can push me farther. I like having muscles pop out in my calves. That means I'll fuel my body, so I can keep going. Besides, I'd rather eat my calories than drink them.
Oh, and random note: Yeah, I didn't take pictures. I'm that college kid who goes on vacation and doesn't take pictures of myself in a bikini. Not because of no self-confidence, it's just we've tried before and no one really remembers. However, there are some pictures of me from the fishing trip that a family friend took, so perhaps I'll get those in a bit.
Man I need to shower. Oh dear.
Do the eating habits of others ever affect you? And this could be anything, like you eat more when you're with someone.