It's All in the Equations

As someone who plans on studying journalism, I think it's safe to say that I've never been a numbers person.
Simple calculations in my head? No problem I will do long division in my head, multiply the hell out of double digits, and if you give me a second I can calculate that tip. I may be able to do that, although I usually end up being lazy and just taking out my phone for a calculator. However, when it comes to equations and calculations that mean something? Please. No.
The trouble is more with science than math really. Memorizing what chemicals react with what always sent my brain into a tizzy. I digress.

The point is you'll never hear me talking about math or things in the math family with a sense of security. No, I will always be talking about it in a worried tone of voice, or teary.
Probably one of the smartest moves I've ever mad has been taking my math requirement in a community college when I was still in high school. I haven't had to do math since junior year of high school, and I'm not looking to put it back into my life.
The closest thing I have taken to math in recent times? Economics.

I don't hate math, economics, or science. I just have a hard time with them. I can't glance at an equation and think, "Oh, this is this." I have to spend time thinking about it. A lot of time.

This comes into play with my economics homework I've been getting. The assignments are all online, and you get two chances to answer them correctly. If you get it wrong the first time, it might help you out and give you some hints. If you get it wrong twice... no points for you.

Here's my process of working on economics homework:

• Log onto website, click homework.
• Read first question.
• Don't know the answer to first question, read rest of questions searching for key words that I might remember.
• Find a question to answer. Flip through notes, trying to find the exact answer.
• Find some information, but doesn't tell me what I need to know specifically.
• Look up question online.
• Compare notes online to notes in notebook, trying to smash together a coherent answer. Click answer.
• Get first attempt wrong. Have a mild breakdown, exclaiming how I'm going to fail economics because of this one question.
• Re-read everything that I can possibly find for the answer. Even when 99% sure of the right answer, hesitate to answer it for at least twenty minutes.
• Finally click check answer again.
• Get question right. Weakly move onto the next one. Repeat nineteen times.

As you probably got from that, it takes me a long time to get my economics homework done. A lack of confidence in my economic skills is a big part of it, but whatever.
This is my last term of economics. I have three more weeks. Bring it.
Despite having difficulties with math, I've somehow successfully tutored someone in geometry in order to pass a test. Have no idea how that happened. Perhaps I'm a lot better than I think I am, it just takes me a lot of work to get there?
...Nah.

How are you with math or science? Is it difficult, or simply boring in your opinion? (Or is it fun and easy?)

Let's Calm Down

I have a confession.

I seem to have a 40 year old brain trapped in a 20 year old body. No I'm not talking about intelligence, I'm talking about neurosis. I'm extremely neurotic, and constantly stressing out about things that frankly, shouldn't worry me as much as they do. I don't know why I'm so neurotic, because no one else in my family is. I do though.

The last few days all of my stressors have been affecting the others, building up inside. School, finances, social life, healthy habits... Unfortunately, everything has been feeling like I'm bombing it, causing a collapse. It always feels like as soon as I make one goal, five things pop up against that goal. Like the money thing.

I pretty much just broke down in front of my mom earlier this evening, and she basically replied with this:
"For crying out loud, you're twenty years old. Live in the moment!"

That got me thinking: I seriously don't act like a twenty year old. I constantly am looking to get eight hours of sleep. I monitor my diet, trying to get my fruits and veggies in. I hoard money like it's going out of style. It's a bit ridiculous.
Now, there's nothing wrong with being responsible. I'm just over-thinking everything. Per usual.

Time to calm the freak down.
Speaking of things popping up to block my goals, my cousin and aunt have decided that I should have a Pinterest today. That's... not good for someone trying to spend LESS time on the computer. Goodness.

Are you a worrywart? Or do you go with the flow?

Double Booking Meetings

Do you ever find yourself in an extremely comfortable position, and you simply don't want to move? Right now, I'm feeling that way about a corner in my room next to the heater and a pillow. Damn the overhead light being so far away.

At times, it feels like all of your priorities are happening at the same time. The rest of the time you're completely free, but when it comes to that specific time, everything has to be happening.

That's how my campus involvement is going. Currently, I've been going to the Alpha Phi Omega meetings and University Film Organization meetings. They are both Wednesday evenings.
Surely, this normally wouldn't be a big deal. However, while at the UFO meeting (yeah), I heard about another club that sounded interesting... with meetings on Wednesday.

I have every other afternoon free. What's the deal with Wednesdays?

Well that's all of what's on my mind for the evening. I just want it to be the weekend so I can sleep.

Do many of your commitments happen on the same days? Or are they nicely spread out?

Finishing the First Week

The first week of college is officially done! Woo!

There are a few things I suppose I've learned from being here:

1. It is a lot bigger (Duh)
2. It feels like everyone already knows everyone
3. Sorority is a big deal here.
4. Classes are pretty much all based on exams. Hurrah.

I suppose that list isn't that great, but it's really all I can say for now. As for Sorority... I've been thinking about it. Honestly, I'm not apposed to the idea. (Even though my sister quit, saying it was not great.) The only thing that makes me not want to do it is how much time it takes, and money. Especially the money. If I'm going to be paying big bucks for something, I want it to be studying abroad. Not friends.

Well, I'm off for the night. First weekend at school... Huh. Let's see how this goes.

Getting Into the Swing of Things

So the roller coaster that has been my week is starting to chug on back to the station of sanity. Wait... what? Okay, let's just do a recap of what's been going on so far in my life during this week. Okay? Okay.

Indeed, I've had of list of things to do for the week that seems to be growing but at the same time, is finally starting to feel like things are getting marked off. For instance, I was able to get a chance tonight to put things up on the wall. They've been sitting on my desk in a pile mocking me for the past week, so it was nice to clear off some space. Funny thing is, I've been doing little things all week to get my area all organized. It just feels like it's pretty much there. Here's a peek, and please ignore the fact that I'm still decorating like a preteen. I just need things on the wall.

Yes that is a Harry Potter poster. And shut up, don't judge.

In other news, I have been keeping myself busy not just with organizing the room. Yesterday I wandered over to the rec center to try out a fitness class with my sister. Y'know, now that I'm here it's kind of nice to have a sibling at the same school. She knows how things work, and at least I have a bit of a connection.

Speaking of connections... My loserness is coming out like crazy it seems. It's just so hard getting to know people at a completely new school, especially since I don't have the dorm connection with anyone or anything. It's a bit troublesome. But I am trying. I'm trying to find out information about clubs, all of that jazz. That brings us to something I stopped by to check out today called the Alpha Phi Omegas. They're a co-ed fraternity thing that does a lot of volunteer work. It sounds interesting, but at the same time I don't think I'm that good of a person. I'm not the type who usually goes out to volunteer, but who knows? I'm also going to check out some other things, such as an information meeting tomorrow about running club.

So there's still a lot that I'm still trying to figure out. Starting out at a new school, along with a wave of hormonal emotions (you know what I mean), it's just been a little scary. Having my printer jam at 10pm last night didn't help the nerves either.

As for tomorrow, I have one class that starts at noon. Nice. However, I have to run and get a decently sized assignment done for Friday tomorrow as well. Perhaps I'll have time to finally organize the living room? We'll see.

What types of groups did you join in college?

Life Unsettled

Day two of school! Which included Economics. And it's already got me stressing. We've already started going through the information super fast, although at the same time, I'm pretty sure I understand the information. It's just when you have a class that's graded only on exams and quizzes, you start to worry.

Really, I can't think right now. Nothing in my life is settled. My room isn't settled. My apartment isn't settled. My classes aren't settled. Nothing is completed right now, and it's stressing me out. I just want one thing to be done, that's all. One little thing checked off of my list. But the list keeps growing, and I can't keep up. I'll be more interesting tomorrow.

The Elementary School Way

I've known that most people are already back to college town, but I sure didn't realize how bad it was until I biked over to the library. The sun made a little guest appearance today before hiding away for the rest of fall, which was alright in my book. As I made my way to the library, I noticed that the town was empty. It was like WOU four days of the week!

Seriously though, there was no one around. Until school got out.

It's a little strange to me seeing elementary school kids. They just seem so... different. I rode by, and saw outfits that high schoolers should be wearing. As you can see, my crotchety side is coming out but I'm serious. What happened to only people my age wearing knee high boots? When I have kids, I just know I'm going to have issues with how they dress. I'm probably going to end up dressing them like kids from the 1940's, in little suits and dresses.

Even though these kids dress like they're my age, I still tried to set a good example as I moseyed on by. I stopped at the cross walks. I let others pass. I would have gotten a Warm Fuzzie for my behaviour. (It's something from my elementary days).

One of the most interesting things I saw was the cross walker Rosa. The reason it's interesting is because she was a cross walker when I was in elementary school. I can't believe she's still doing it! And on Fridays, she would give out treats. Ah, memories.

Tomorrow I head off to campus for good. At least then my company won't be all under 12 years old.

What's something that you see in elementary school kids today that seems bizarre to your elementary school self?

What Happened This Summer?

Welp, tomorrow is the beginning of September. Wait, what?! Goodness, when the heck did that happen?

For most of us, September means that summer is over. For K-12, school started around the beginning of September, so in my mind it's always been the end of summer. However, now it seems my school year starts at the end of September now that I'm in college. Which is weird. Another weird thought that comes to mind is that when I'm done with college, I will never have a summer break again. Unless I'm a teacher. That's just sad in my book. Where will I get all of that time to waste?

Despite still having a little less than a month left, I've been thinking about what I've actually accomplished this summer. Some big things were:

• Ran a 20 mile run, plus a lot of other runs
• Completed a full year of College Spanish

Only two big things, but they seemed pretty big. I did do a lot of other things this summer though. For instance, I did quite a bit of reading. At the beginning of summer, I said I would read all of the classic literature that everyone has to read in classes. That... did not happen, but I did get a lot of reading in. There was Chelsea Handler, Brave New World, random books from the library telling me helpful hints about life, just whatever looked interesting. Besides, isn't that what you should read anyway? Currently I'm reading a book called Hungry, and it's a memoir from this model who's a plus sized model now. I remember reading something about it in a magazine awhile ago, and it sounded interesting. She kind of goes off topic a lot though.

There were a lot of little things that happened this summer as well. Time with family and time with friends. Time spend outside in the wonderful sun.Time wasted. Time well spent. Time spent trying to cook, failing miserably.

Overall, it's been a pretty good summer. I'm not sure I'm ready to go back! On the other hand, I'm excited for what lies ahead this school year.

What big things happened in your life this summer?

What's My Age Again?

All of my life, I've been looking to the future. What's next after this step? What should I do now to make sure my future works out all right? I constantly try to live in the moment, but the rest of my mind gets caught up in what could be next. With the constant worrying about the future, I think about things like career and how I'm going to take care of myself one day.

My futuristic look isn't only through my life, I tend to connect with those "living in the future" for a lack of a better way to say it. It feels like I've always been drawn to groups older than me. The people I hung out with during this year at school were mostly juniors. I've found more similarities with my sister's friends than people from my grade. That tends to be kind of the case online as well.

It seems that much of the blogging world consists of females who are in the last years of college or older. In many of the blogs that I read, people are getting married, buying their first homes, getting real jobs, all that jazz. When reading about that type of stuff, I start to think about how far behind I must be. Then I realize: Hell, I'm only 19! I've got a lot of time to do stuff like that. It just feels like I should be getting it done now, you know?

That's just the thing. I'm still a kid. I still refer to my parent's house as my house. I still have a messy room. I'm still fairly young despite how crotchety I may act sometimes.

And sure, it's great to think about the future, but I know I gotta loosen up a little! Take the plunge on random experiences. It's all about once again living a happy medium.

Well that's my recent epiphany. Just had to get that out of my head. Other than that, I'm going hiking tomorrow morning. I don't really hike. We'll see how that turns out!

Do you ever had trouble acting your age?

Spanish 203: Bring on the Homework

It's August? Did I miss something? No, that's just how time rolls ain't it? Yeah...

As I've mentioned many times before, today was the start of the last part of summer Spanish. It's a good thing for sure.
One of the changes that has happened is now there's a new professor. For the last two terms, I had a professor who was quite nice. She didn't really give us homework except for big projects, and it was very relaxed. This term? I'm a little worried. Mondays and Wednesdays are my more relaxed days because I don't have work.
I've been working on homework for most of the afternoon. I don't have that same time tomorrow. It's a little worrisome.
Three weeks though? Ah, I can make it.

I think that's one of the things that makes me the most excited about actual work though, you know? You don't get homework. Oh sure, there are jobs where you have to take work home with you, there's no denying that. However, you're getting paid to complete that work right? Probably would make homework more enjoyable if you were getting paid to do it.

What's something that makes work better than school to you? What's something that makes school better than work to you?

Looking at IDs

First final tomorrow.... If I don't have an A in the class that is. If I do, don't have to take it, aw yeah.

Today was one of those days where I was constantly going all day. I can't even believe how late it is, since it feels like it was just morning. Just a lot of studying, but I still feel like I didn't learn anything. Hmm.

Something I did that did not involve finals was go to the health center to work out. I keep all of my identification in my wallet, and my WOU id is necessary to get into the health center. When I went to grab my id, I almost swiped my new U of O id. Talk about awkward.

I've actually been thinking about my ids a lot lately, so I've decided to take a look at them. Don't worry, all of the important stuff is covered:

First is my driver's license. I had had my hair in braids before this was taken, hence the wavy hair. I look like my sister. Too bad I lost my old license, because my picture was a lot better.
Next is the WOU id. It's so...plain. This picture was taken right after I had gotten a haircut, and bangs were a new phenomenon.
Last one is the U of O, obviously. Probably the fanciest of my identifications? I think so. You know how I was feeling sick on my orientation day? This picture was taken right when the sickly feeling was starting to creep up on me. Oh, what an awesome time to take a picture. My mom also commented on how I kind of look like I'm not wearing anything. I did not think that one through.

It's just a weird feeling to have all of these different ids in my wallet. It feels like they don't belong all in the same space in my wallet.

That's pretty much all I can tell ya that's on my mind. Not a lot else other than the current situation.

Do you have multiple ids? Which one do you like the best?

Random Thoughts, Art Displays and School Worries

My room mate never seems to turn the light on whenever she's in the room. If I turn on the light if I'm in the room before her, it's fine, but she never turns it on if she's in the room. I wonder why this is. I would say perhaps it's an emotional thing, but it could also be because she's lazy. I can not say.

I don't think I'm cool enough to be in my age group, or at least a college student. That is because I do not own a pair of TOMS. Perhaps something to invest in in the future? We'll see.

I've had two opposing dreams about the same test. In one of the dreams, I received a D on the test, and it was terrible. The other dream, I received 100%. Both of these ideas I knew were delusions, but I was still stressing until I got the test back today. I ended up doing quite well, but not that well.

Random thoughts that pass through my head like this make me think I should get a Twitter, because that's basically what it is, right? Then I go through the struggles of trying to think of a good name, and pass the idea by.

One thing that I'm definitely going to miss about this campus are the awesome art projects that the art students put outside of the art building from time to time.

Many of the things I have seen I would like to steal away for myself...

...but you knew that.

On the subject of schools, for I think the first time on Friday I became terrified of transferring schools. It could be possibly because of the feeling sick factors coming into play, but I think it's a lot more than that. For instance, I'm worried that I'm going to get lost all of the time. I'll be late to classes, and be locked out or something. Also, I've done quite well in school at WOU, but how am I going to do at U of O? With bigger classes, will they be a lot harder for me? Will I be completely forgotten in the classroom setting? I really don't think I'd like that. One of the bigger things that I should be worrying about is living arrangements, but I've been worrying more about getting projects for school done right now. Livin' in the moment I guess... except for those other worries.

It is Monday, so I guess the lesson for the day is... from Bridesmaids. That lesson is food poisoning is kind of like that, except maybe less graphic.
Yeah, don't have much in that subject. And I'm done talking about food poisoning now.

How do you deal with the fear of the unknown future?

Trying to Figure Out Live and Living in the Moment

It's Friday... Now what?

Lately I've just been thinking about stuff that need to get done. Not necessarily for the week, but in the future. I need to:

• Figure out my rooming situation for next year
• Figure out how I'm going to move everything out of my dorm in three hours on the last day of school
• Calculate all of my spending for the year
• Try to see if there are other job options for the summer
• Talk to professors about missing a day of class for orientation of another school

I know that there are other things that I need to do, but I'm having trouble thinking of what I need to do next. It's kind of weird that I don't know what's up for the future, and I feel like I should care more. I'm living in the moment I suppose? For the day I suppose.

I hope everyone has a lovely evening!

Lighter Nights, Summer Plans and Applications

It's almost eight o' clock and the sun is setting just now. Gosh, I love it but it really screws with your sense of time!

Well, it was when I wrote that. Whatever.

Because summer vacation is coming up sooner than later, I've been thinking about options to have during the summer. My first plans were to take Spanish intensive classes at the local community college, but it seems that they do not have the program I'm looking for. There are other schools that I could try to find information about, but I don't know exactly how it would all work. For now, I'm doing the next best thing. I'm looking for summer jobs.

Applying for jobs is a lot more obnoxious than any other part of the job it seems. Filling out applications is repetitive, and sometimes they want to know some odd information. And sometimes... I realize things that I didn't know before (and probably should have known).

The main example? I have no idea what one of my old supervisor's last name was. She was a mysterious boss, who only went by her first name. She was like Seal, or Madonna. No one called her by her full name.

This has only gotten to be a problem for the applications that require the last names... I suppose I must find an old pay stub.

Been a busy, studying day. Tomorrow looks like it's going to be another one. Whooho.

What has been the strangest thing you've ever been asked on a resume? Or what's the strangest thing you didn't know for a resume?

Busy Days and Things I Have Learned From Fictional Characters

Well well well! If is isn't rainy weather come back to Oregon. I knew you'd be back.

Today has been such a busy busy day! Nothing but homework and schooling. I really don't know why it's been like this, seeing that I have less credits than ever before. I'm thinking that it's the beginning of the term, and once things get organized life will become a lot more relaxed. Right now I'm trying to get a few things organized.

• School and homework
• Trying to figure out a job/internship
• Workout scheduling
• School plans for next year
• Summer plans

May not seem like much, but for me right now it's a lot to handle. If I'm not doing homework, I'm looking for applications, or something else.

Hmm. Today is Monday, which means it's time for a Things I Have Learned From Fictional Characters. But what have I learned from fictional characters this week? Oh! I know!
I guess that this isn't from fictional characters necessarily, but they're fictional characters in my book. This lesson comes from... Reality Stars!

...Really?

Yes, reality stars tend to teach us the exact opposite of what we should be doing, but they do have one pretty good idea. That idea? When you have an opportunity, grab it!

Sure, reality stars seem to grab opportunities and never let go. Yet, when you think about it, shouldn't we all be grabbing opportunities that are presented to us? You don't what to spend your whole life asking, "What if?"
...Just don't do it like reality stars do it, because no one likes the way they do it. Seriously.

What's been filling up your plate recently?

Homework Days and Fears

And the cycle of schooling continues, seeing as it is Sunday evening.

Hello everyone! How's life?

Today during the non-homework parts of the day, I've been thinking about one of my greatest fears. Most everyone has some type of basic fear whether it be the fear of death, or something like spiders. No one is fearless, and even if the appear to be, they're just good at hiding it.
I have a few fears here and there, but I have one fear that tops them all. It's a fear that I think about constantly, even when I don't know I am. My fear is the fear of looking foolish.
You may think it's strange. You may think it's perfectly reasonable. I've always had this fear though. When I say something that sounds dumb, I regret it for days, maybe even longer. I think it all comes from the underlying idea that I want to be respected. If I sound like an idiot, who will respect my ideas? Who will listen to me?
This may also affect how independent I want to be. I've gotten better with asking about things, but it tends to be because I don't want to turn in a final project that makes me look foolish either.

So, now that I've gotten up from the imaginary couch of the blog world, I'd like to ask what your fears are. Are they more mental fears or physical fears (like spiders)?

I'm all done for the day. Just been homeworkin' it up!

Country Runs, Strength Training, and Favorite Classes

Lately, I've been getting back into the swing of running again. (I've also been talking about running far too often). I ran into the country on one of my usual paths, but I took a turn and discovered a graveyard I had no idea was there. It was actually quite pretty. That could have been the sunny day talking though.

However, with all of the exercise talk, I've been breaking one of the cardinal rules of exercise. I haven't been strength training.
My guns have become nerf guns. My almost abs have... yeah, they are nowhere in sight.

I know that I've got to get back on track. I just want to know a better ab workout... a more interesting one! I know that all of the basics are what you do, but I want something new.

Today I was asked what my favorite class in college has been, and I was stumped. Honestly, I was shocked that I didn't have one. Sure there have been parts of classes that were great. Some have had low moments too. There just isn't a best class. Still plenty of time, right?

What's a good strenght training exercise you do?

And Now, Back to Our Regular Programming...

...Well, I suppose not exactly.

For right now, I have to continue the packing up process from my home, then be ready to drive back to school early tomorrow morning. It's been a long two days, that's for sure.

I will be sure to divulge in all of my epic adventures tomorrow, but for now I'll leave you with a basic gist of what went down in the past week:

• Sunshine
• Whales
• Wacky Family Members
• Eating Habits 180'd
• Sunglasses Everywhere
• Airline Glitches
• Impromtu Road Trips

...Spanish is not looking like a happy thing to wake up to tomorrow. Ah well.

People of the past revisited

Evening everyone! How's life treating you?

Last night I saw some people from my hometown... and many of them I didn't recognize. Even though it hasn't even been a year, it feels like it's been ages since I've actually spent time with the people of my town. Strangely enough, it makes me realize how little it doesn't bother me not seeing all of the people from my school. Sure, there are a few people who matter, but you know what? My classmates weren't as special as I thought.
Good thing: being told, "You are gorgeous."
Not so good thing: being told that comment by someone slightly induced with a mouth full of chew.
Just... ick.

Tonight, not much going on. We just don't know what to do! Blah.

How close were you to your classmates before graduation and then after?