Age is in the Eye of the Beholder

Ah, I enjoy a good weekend. If I have even one social event going on, I'm happy. Usually multiple things happen during one weekend, then nothing for awhile. Hm.

I've never been good at judging people's ages. Maybe I used to, but now I never guess the age of anyone correctly. I think college-aged people are in a point in time where the looks of ages could be mixed up quite easily. Or that could just be me, I dunno.

My mistake tends to be thinking people are older than they are. I don't think it's because of their physical appearance though. Sometimes, yes people look older, but I think a lot of the time it's personality. They seem wise, or know what they're doing. I've been shocked to find someone I know in a leadership position is actually my age or younger. How on earth could they be my age? They seem so mature.

It may also be due to the fact that many people I meet tend to be older than me. One thing that's been a little sad is how many people I've just started to get to know who are going to be leaving in a couple of months. Sad. It's like last year. Sure, Facebook works but it's not the same.
I simply have no gauge on time. Fortunately, I'm not the only one. Many times when meeting friends of my sister, I ask "Who's older?" Quite a bit of the time, they guess me. I think it's because they've seen Chloe's goofy side, so she seems younger (in spirit at least).

I think college is the last time where age really matters. Well, besides being considered a cougar, but that's a different story.

Tomorrow is Easter! Are you excited? I'm happy. I just like holidays. Ayup.

Do you guess ages right? Or are you usually way off?

Let's Calm Down

I have a confession.

I seem to have a 40 year old brain trapped in a 20 year old body. No I'm not talking about intelligence, I'm talking about neurosis. I'm extremely neurotic, and constantly stressing out about things that frankly, shouldn't worry me as much as they do. I don't know why I'm so neurotic, because no one else in my family is. I do though.

The last few days all of my stressors have been affecting the others, building up inside. School, finances, social life, healthy habits... Unfortunately, everything has been feeling like I'm bombing it, causing a collapse. It always feels like as soon as I make one goal, five things pop up against that goal. Like the money thing.

I pretty much just broke down in front of my mom earlier this evening, and she basically replied with this:
"For crying out loud, you're twenty years old. Live in the moment!"

That got me thinking: I seriously don't act like a twenty year old. I constantly am looking to get eight hours of sleep. I monitor my diet, trying to get my fruits and veggies in. I hoard money like it's going out of style. It's a bit ridiculous.
Now, there's nothing wrong with being responsible. I'm just over-thinking everything. Per usual.

Time to calm the freak down.
Speaking of things popping up to block my goals, my cousin and aunt have decided that I should have a Pinterest today. That's... not good for someone trying to spend LESS time on the computer. Goodness.

Are you a worrywart? Or do you go with the flow?

Acting My Age

Today, my cousin who is two months younger than me turned 20. All she could say when I saw her is how old she felt. Yes, 20 is old. A bit ridiculous, but that's how I felt the first few days of it. I often think about my age. As in, do I really fit my age? I like young adult novels. I love dress up. How adult do I really sound?
Then again, young adult novels have all of the fun. They go on incredible adventures and such, so it seems that not all young adult novels are meant simply for the YA audience.

As for dressing up? Why don't we do dress up more often? It's fun. I guess that's what getting all dolled up for a night on the town is for.

On the subject of growing up, it's hard to try to prove I'm maturing to my parents. Whenever I try to explain, it sounds more like a whining teenager to them. Not very good for convincing my maturity, but I'm working on figuring something out. I think part of the problem stems from the fact that I'm still their youngest, and maybe it's harder to see me growing up. I dunno.

So, I'm not sure I feel my age. Do you feel your age?

Acting Your Own Age

I just realized that it's exactly a month until I turn twenty. That's weird.

What happens when you turn twenty? Since you're no longer a teenager, are you officially an adult? I don't really know.

I've been thinking about my age a lot lately, and it's not because of the fact stated above. It's because of 1. When I see other college kids and 2. The amount of help I get from my parents.

Let's start off with the college kids thing. Even though I guess I'm a full-blown college kid now, I just don't feel like I am. To me, the other college people look like they're so much older than me. That's what I think in my head, but I've been assured that I look college aged. However on the other side of the spectrum, I feel older in personality. I don't like a lot of the trends that people my age like. I don't text often, and I hardly care about Facebook. I feel like I don't fit in with my age group. I want to, I just... don't. I have a cousin who fits perfectly into the age group, but I don't want to be like that. I dunno.

The other part of thinking about my age comes from help from my parents. Mostly my mom. I think that I get way too much help from my parents. Sometimes I ask for it, but a lot of the time it seems like my mom just can't stop. I want her to, but at the same time I'm scared to have that happen. There are things that I need to be responsible for, and sometimes it feels like I don't get the chance to be responsible. It also could be that I don't know how to accept help, and I should grow into that. Hell, I don't know. I am still a teenager (for now).

So, that's just me for now in a nutshell. Needs to become more independent, too afraid to do it. Feh.

What age do you feel like you are?

Stubborness With Age, and Midnight in Paris

At what age do you become too stubborn to look at other sides of an argument? When is it that whatever you've learned is the only way that things can be learned? I ask this because lately I've started to notice that my dad doesn't really like anything new. When we go to a movie, he only ever thinks it's okay. Everything is simply "okay". I also gave him a book that he might find interesting, because I know how he likes history. It's about the history of the United States, but it's told from the views of the natives, the slaves, and all of those who aren't in command. Now, I'm pretty sure that my dad was taught the way of Christopher Columbus being the most amazing guy out there, and just discovering America like he meant to. (Fact: He wasn't, and he didn't.) This book happens to show another side of that story, and I don't think he wants to think about it. Is that just his personality? Or do we get to an age in our lives where we simply think that all of the things we currently like are the only things we can like for the rest of our days? It's probably the former, but I can't help but think otherwise.

Today I went to the movies with my sister, and we saw Midnight in Paris. It made me want to go into movie review mode, so here we go.

I have never seen a Woody Allen movie before today. I'd always been told that he filmed "more artistically than others", so I braced myself for whatever was to come, perhaps being a movie that drags on far too long. However, as the movie progressed I became intrigued with his unique film style. Maybe he doesn't do this for all of his films, but I'd need to see them to know for sure. For instance, one of the things I found interesting was during the times people talked to each other. In most movies, you'll see the camera flip from one person to another, to however is talking or perhaps have them in the same frame. That was not the case here. There were some scenes where the main person was having a conversation with someone a few feet off camera, or have the action focused on another situation as the two characters we were listening to conversed in the background. Were there lingering camera shots? Of course there were, the whole beginning is five minutes of shots of Paris while a song played.
One thing that Allen does not have is subtlety. When he wants you to not root for a certain person, he definitely makes sure you won't root for them. Rachel McAdams plays the fiance, who is the antagonist of this story. She plays Regina George in Mean Girls, right? Well picture that... only 100 times more unlikeable. Really, is it so hard for people today to agree with the idea of Romanticism that you have to make the fiance and her parents that unlikeable?

Now, about the movie itself. The movie is about Gayle (or however you spell the male version of that name). He goes off to Paris with his fiance and his fiance's parents, and it's a city he adores. He moons over the city and the 1920s, while Miss I-hate-anything-my-fiance-says bickers at him about having stupid dreams, and how his novel probably won't pan out. Better to do something in a city you hate that makes you completely miserable than at least try to do something you like, right? She also happens to have the hots for one of her guy friends that's there with his wife as well. The guy friend happens to be one of those people who will ramble off information about EVERYTHING, because he's an expert in EVERYTHING.
One night, while walking the streets alone and taking a seat on some stairs, Gayle hears the chimes indicating midnight, and discovers a whole new world. Or, old world actually as he gets transported to the 1920s.

The magical situation in which Gayle finds himself is whimsical, and I was completely drawn into it. Still, with all of the magic and wonder of the past, it's nice to see that we actually end up learning a lesson that doesn't completely throw away common sense. It's wonderful to get caught up in the moment, but one must take a step back and look at the big picture as the hero experiences for us. I suppose that it's good to know who to not like in the situation, but the setting in the past is so exciting that it's not really necessary to push their nastiness to the extreme.
Despite there being a few irritating things, the movie left me with a serene smile glued to my face. The magic, wonder and Romanticism made me want to dream a little more of things that make me happy. Also, I'd never really been a fan of Paris (I simply didn't care), but now I realize just what a beautiful city it is.

Class tomorrow? Blah. I guess every week started is that much closer do being done, right? Eh.

If you could live in any city, where would you live? This movie made me think about this. I don't know where I'd want to live, but there's still a lot of cities that I want to visit.

Long Runs, Age, and Wisdom

What, it's Saturday? When did that happen?

I had my long run today... which was SIXTEEN MILES! Woohoo! A tad sore, toes hurt a little, but nothing too out of the ordinary. No stopping either! Ah.

Lately I havent' been pleased with my body. I don't know why, but I've been looking really big. Before this week, I looked fine but now there's more padding. Is it my mind playing tricks on me? Have I really gotten bigger? I haven't checked my weight, but I don't think I could gain an extreme amount of weight in that little time especially since I haven't been eating that many calories. Have I? Augh, I'd rather not think about it, or at least complain about it to y'all anymore.

On my run today, a thought floated through my mind. I'm stupid. However, I'm not saying that in a belittling way. I suppose a better way to say it would be that I'm ignorant, but somehow stupid feels like it fits.
So I'm nineteen, right? Well, there's a lot about the world that I don't know. There's a lot of academia that I haven't learned, there's a lot of common sense that I haven't learned... There's just a lot that I don't know. Whenever I want to sound smart, or whenever I type something that I think sounds intelligent I instantly become nervous. Do I sound pretentious? Do I sound like a complete idiot? I suppose that it's better to actually throw things out there into the world and test how others react instead of keeping thoughts sealed up from fear of looking foolish. This is kind of along the idea of the thing I was talking about with knowing where the line is. Then again, did I sound like an idiot with the writing in that? Augh.

I hate looking foolish, because I feel sad when I see others looking foolish. I pity them. I don't want people to pity me, I want people to respect me. But with that respect, once again I realize that there's a lot that I don't know. I hate that there's so much I don't know, that's why I'm constantly intrigued by learning new facts and searching for more knowledge in obscure things.

Yes, I'll learn things through time, but that takes... well, you know, time. It's kind of the comparison game. Do I know more than this person my age? I want to show people that I'm intelligent for my age! Wishful thinking? Of course, but that's the basis of being human isn't it? It's a big world out there, but I'm interested in having the world being intrigued by me. I want the world to want me. I want to feel special is the main thing.

My sister has convinced me to come to a coffee shop with her to study, so that's where I sit now. She blames me for taking away from her precious study time, which ticks me off. I told her that I was going on my long run right? I told her that it would take a long time. Long run days usually mean the whole day involves it somehow. What was she doing while I was gone for a little over two and a half hours? Watching movies that she's already watched. Can you see where I think I shouldn't be in the wrong?
Breathe. Let it go, no matter how much it ticks me off that I get blamed for things I shouldn't get in trouble for. Breaaaaaaathe.

What's the best age-based wisdom that you've ever received?

Lack of Motivation and The World of Bloggers

I believe that the effect of studying for a good chunk of the day burnt me out, causing me to have a lack of motivation to complete anything today. That, and receiving a certain paper back.
Don't you hate it when you get great marks on the smaller assignments, making you think that you're writing everything right, then discovering that apparently you're not when it comes to the big essay? No? Just me? I know, I shouldn't be complaining about this, but I honestly thought that my writing had been good for the class. Well, I'll just be done with that for now, but I just wanted to get it out.

The blogging world is such a quirky, fun place. It's amazing how people can connect, tell incredible stories, and just create an environment where you can find at least one person if not many with the same interests. Before I started blogging, I occasionally looked at some blogs. I never really read any of the blogs on a regular basis though. As I started blogging, I started exploring blogs more often. Soon I had my regular blogs. I continued getting more regular blogs on my reading list, and I still am finding more blogs I like. (There's too many, it's ridiculous!)
Now it's funny because sometimes I end up thinking about some of my favorite bloggers like someone I know in real life. On a run recently, this is seriously how I was thinking:

I wonder if Annie's finals went well. They should be done by now.
Speaking of finals, how exciting that Lexie graduated from college! I wonder how she feels now that it's over.
I wish I had the confidence of taking pictures like Caitlin.
Gosh, all of the 50's inspired dresses that Jessica wears are so adorable. I seriously want to steal her clothes.
Speaking of things that are adorable, all of the treats that Erica makes look so fun and tasty. I wonder how her move has been going.
Rachel has been doing lots of home decorating hasn't she? And she just went on vacation, it looked really pretty.
Oh, that reminds me, how much longer is Mimi staying in the UK? She goes to the coolest places over there.
I can't believe Ashley went and ran a half marathon with her fiance who only had run a four mile run before. Crazy. She is a beast, and it's meant in the best way possible.
And Kat? Getting ready for her wedding, training for a marathon, and having two loved ones graduate right after another? Girl has a lot on her plate!

If you didn't already guess by now, those are a few of the blogs I read the most. Sometimes I'm forgetful in commenting, and some I miss a post or two. There are even more blogs than that that I like to look at. Geez, they're all women aren't they? Maybe it's just me, but I feel like a lot of bloggers are women.

To these bloggers, I'd like to say thanks. Not just to the ones who've peeked at my own blog (but you guys are AMAZING), but to all of you who have let the rest of us into your awesome lives. For being real, even if we can't prove it. For inspiring us unintentionally or on purpose. I'm pretty sure a huge part of the reason I thought it would be cool to do a half marathon is because I saw so many bloggers who had run them, or even farther. Bloggers who had only run 5ks, and had wrote about how scary that was. So anywho... yeah. Bloggers are cool.

Another thing I've noticed? All of the bloggers I read are older than I am by a couple of years. Many of them are about my sister's age (I think). Once again, I am drawn towards older people. Odd.

The main reason I started thinking about this was because Lexie messaged me asking about adding a Name and URL thing to the comments like so many other bloggers I know do. Currently, I am not sure how to do that. My skills in the language of HTML have disappeared, so I'm not sure what to do to fix that. It's like any language, you've got to continuously use it or you lose it. It could be because of Blogger, but I'm not really sure. So, if anyone has any knowledge on that... let me know! That would be great. (Geez, how far I've fallen in my tech skills.)

Right now I am lacking any good food for snacking. At first, I thought this would be a good thing so unnecessary snacking would not occur, but this is not the case. I've realized when I'm hungry, but not hungry for a full meal, I need snacks. Peanut butter, Top Ramen, and Bagel Thins are not good munchy foods. I shall jack some snacks from home when I pass by on Thursday.

My feet are horrendously disgusting. Good lord. Now that you know the status of my feet, you can sleep soundly. Or have nightmares, your choice.

How have blogs affected you? What are some of your favorite blogs?