Changes in Myself, Considering Yourself a Runner, and Differences in Running Practices

I remembered one of the other things that I need to get done in the future: Get a haircut. My hair is getting really long, and something new needs to occur.

Today I thought about how much I've changed since just last year. It's crazy. Last year I was known as the art chick, the girl who was the only non-stoner among stoners. I didn't get that great of grades. Now, I get really good grades. I'm a girl who runs a lot. Plus the thing is, I feel like I've changed mentally. Sure, there are a lot of habits that I have that I've always had, but somehow I know that how I think about certain things is very different. When mentioning that I'd changed from "That art chick" to "That girl that runs a lot", I was greeted with,
"Well that's not much better."
... Um, excuse me? What the hell does that mean? I'll let you know that running is amazing, thank you very much!

Since I'm on the subject of running, I also thought about my standing as a runner today.

Somehow, it sort of feels like I can't really call myself a runner still, but then I think about what that means. I don't go more than a day without running. I make sure that I schedule time for certain runs during the week. I think about how far I can go. I talk about running far too often. Still, I start to think, "I'm not a runner. I don't run as much as other people do, and I don't care so much about speed."
The mileage thing worries me in training, because I've heard of some people running a ton a miles before things. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of training schedules that say I'm doing just fine. Really, what does that matter? I care about running. I run a decent amount. I should feel proud to say that indeed, I am a runner.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this here in the blog, but I have ran on a cross country team since middle school. Sure, I ran back then, but I was never very into it back then. I started to wonder, "Why do I like to run so much now?", and the answer is simple: Competition.
I hate running with other people, because I'm always comparing myself to then. If I'm running too fast, I look like a jerk. If I'm running too slow, I look like a loser. Running with my sister? Probably one of the worst ideas. Especially since one thing I happen to do is breathe quite heavily. Sure, it may sound bad, but that's just how I breathe. However, when I'm running with my sister and I'm breathing heavily, this happens:
Chloe: "Jeez, why the heck are you breathing so hard?"
Me: *tries to stop breathing so hard, ends up hyperventilating*
It's not a good cycle. When I run, it's not for periods of time. It's for miles. I've read both ways of running are good. I simply prefer my way.

This summer, I think I'm going to try running with people again. I may be slower, but it'll be nice to have company for longer runs if I do. Who knows? Maybe they'll push me to go faster.

I think I've either hit or gone over 500 miles in these shoes. Dangit, I didn't want to get new ones, but I'm pretty sure I need to. Goodness!

On a final note, I really want this:

An art student made it, and it's currently on display outside of the art building. I want it. I can set it in my dorm!

When was the last time you realized you've changed a lot? How did you change?

Trying to Figure Out Live and Living in the Moment

It's Friday... Now what?

Lately I've just been thinking about stuff that need to get done. Not necessarily for the week, but in the future. I need to:

• Figure out my rooming situation for next year
• Figure out how I'm going to move everything out of my dorm in three hours on the last day of school
• Calculate all of my spending for the year
• Try to see if there are other job options for the summer
• Talk to professors about missing a day of class for orientation of another school

I know that there are other things that I need to do, but I'm having trouble thinking of what I need to do next. It's kind of weird that I don't know what's up for the future, and I feel like I should care more. I'm living in the moment I suppose? For the day I suppose.

I hope everyone has a lovely evening!

Body Image, Tests, and Not Being Dressed For the Weather

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone? Did you have Mexican food (or something else) in honor of the day?

Do you ever have those days where you just don't know if there are plans that are supposed to happen in the future you should know about? That's currently what my mindset is like. I like having things planned, but for now? Don't really know what plans I have.

Body image is a very odd thing. Why do we happen to care so much about how we look? Lately, I've been thinking about that. Lately, I've been having a skewed view on my body image. I currently weigh the same amount that I have been, but it feels like when I look in the mirror, my weight goes all to my stomach, and I look like I weigh a lot more.
The thing is, I'm at a perfectly acceptable weight for my size. My BMI is actually on the lower side of the scale. Yet, why do I care so much about body image? Really, why does anyone?

The only people who are required to really be thin are actors and models. For any other type of career, there's nothing wrong with being at a normal size. Then why do the rest of us need to be small? Isn't being at a healthy weight enough?

Apparently not. All I can say is that I'm lucky to be at a healthy weight, even though I'm not actress skinny. (Truthfully, I think it's because I'm not toned.)

That's just a little thing I've been thinking about lately.Other than that, I've just been worried about my two tests tomorrow. Oh, and how I apparently can't dress for weather. Yesterday when the sun was shining, I was wearing black pants. Today I decided to bare my legs, and it was cold all day.

Why do we care so much about body image?

Comparing Dorms to Home, Spring Days and its Downsides (But Not Really)

I think the internet on my computer didn't want to turn on so I wouldn't watch a show while getting ready for bed. I suppose it's for the best. Therefore, we have a phone-based post for the evening.

The mess in my room? It's getting ridiculous. The thing is, I don't understand why. Almost every day I clean, yet it gets messy an hour later. At first I blamed it on my lack of ability to clean. Now I blame it on lack of space.
I think that's one of the things you take for granted when (if) you're living in a house with your parents before college. That shampoo? Can't go in the bathroom, it's a community bathroom. Those books? If they don't fit on the shelf, there's no where else to put them.

Spring has come (for sure, I think this time). It's a nice feeling, yet it's almost toxic for being a student. The lovely weather makes you want to sit outside, relax, and hang out with friends. Oh, you can try to do homework, but it's not going to get done. Did my day contain doing just that? You bet it did. Yes, I ended up getting my homework done, but there are a lot of other things that I should be getting done as well. Like getting more shaving cream. ... I can use soap for one more day.
The other thing that warm weather does? Seeing as it stays brighter for longer, you tend to think you have more time in the day... which means you have plenty of time... not really.
Still, I can't complain about it. I'm just lucky to have it!

What's the biggest thing you realized you took for granted before college?

Making Big Decisions

Yesterday, I did something a little crazy.

I spent $145 dollars without remorse. Without thinking about it. I won't even get anything from it. I have to pay for what I paid for. How ridiculous is that?

...Actually, that's not really true I guess.

Yesterday I paid for a tee shirt.
Yesterday I paid for a few months of training, either by myself or whoever wants to.
Yesterday I paid for the inevitable pain and soreness to come.
Yesterday I paid to have a day on my calendar filled, with a few hours every week.
Yesterday, I registered for The Portland Marathon.

And the part about not thinking about it? I guess I could say I didn't think about it when filling out the form, but I certainly did take a large chunk of time to think about it before. This has been on my mind for weeks, maybe even months. Really, I probably started thinking about it after my half marathon in January, but it was fleeting thoughts then. After the Cascade, people would say, "Are you going for a marathon now?"

I thought, "No way. A half marathon is one thing, but a full marathon? Now you're crazy."

Granted, the thought is still crazy hence the extensive amount of time thinking about it. I went through the thoughts, "Will I have enough time to train?" or "Can I actually motivate myself to do it?" I gave myself a million reasons why, but the didn't matter. Then I decided to ask why not?

And there wasn't really a good reason. My mileage has been going up automatically. I've looked for training schedules, and I'd already be ahead of schedule.

I'd like to be able to say I ran a marathon before my twenties. Just because that would be really cool. And now, I kind of have to.

I don't mind.

I'm sure it'll register with me in a few days, but for now all I can think is "Huh."

What big decision have you made recently?

Time Flies, Screwy Weather and Things I Have Learned From Fictional Characters

I don't know how I ever felt like I had free time in high school. On Mondays when there's class from about 9 to 2, my whole day feels like it just disappeared.
The weather went back to its regular 45 degree temps. I think Mother Nature just likes to screw with us, especially when it starts pouring and you're dresses for summer. Goodness.

Today's lesson comes from Glee, but it also comes from many other situations. The reason I say Glee is because it is pretty much the main idea from Glee. Now, this lesson I learned from things like Glee, but the concept grew when I started to get older and realized that it really did make me like that.

The lesson is music can be some powerful stuff. It can sway your emotions like crazy.

The thing about Glee that's pretty ridiculous in my book is that they seem to try to solve every problem they have by singing. This isn't really the most logical way to deal with problems, but through some of the songs and situations you can actually bring some problems to light.

Also, it's obviously not just problems that music brings to light, but happiness, sorrow, anger, love. This isn't really a lesson, but it's funny when you think about how certain songs affect you.

For me, whenever I'm in the car driving myself, I sing Annette Hanshaw and music from Dr.Horrible. Sublime makes me think of lunch hours at my house with my friends in high school. Certain Owl City songs remind me of silly little crushes, and how ridiculous I was then.

I guess today's lesson is a little weak, but it's what I've got for today. I'm feeling like I really haven't gotten much done, but at the same time felt like there was no time. Which is completely ridiculous because there was plenty of time... Right? Bah, I'm just confusing myself.

What songs evoke memories in you?

Spring Days Done Right

"Oh my gosh, it's so GORGEOUS today!"

"Welcome to The Bracelet Hour, today we're talkin' about charms"

"Hii! Hi. Hiiiiii Lucy!"

These are things that I repetitively said today. Especially the part about the beautiful weather. I never wanted it to go away. One of the other two had to do with talking to a one year old, can you tell which one?

Today I ended up going up to Washington, a thing that just sounds so weird once you say it. Traveling to another state in one day? And not even the whole day? Granted, it was right on the border, but still.

I ended up going to Washington for my little second cousin's birthday.

Fun! In case you didn't realize by now, I have a lot of cousins. And I'm pretty close to most if not all of them.

The weather today? Just fantastic. It was like Mother Nature suddenly looked at the calendar and said, "Hey! When did May happen? Oh well, let's make it nice out." I just wanted to sunbathe.

There were a few things that came to light today, I believe. Like:

• I forgot how cool I think it would be to be part of Saturday Night Live. Also, ridiculous accents are awesome, and everyone should try to do them.

• I think babies around 1 are my favorite, because if you're able to make them happy with something simple, they will adore you. Plus, they're at the age that they still like to be held, but if they are learning how to walk...

• ...it's fun to help them along.
• Time flies. And no, it's not (just) because it was a birthday I thought about this, but one of my cousins brought this up:

"Hey, did you go to Stumptown this year?"

"Wait, I thought we just went to that!"
"Hannah... that was last year."

...Yeah. So time flies. Goodness.

And these two are partners in crime.

These pictures are from my mom's camera, and taken mostly by... one of my cousins I believe? And my sis. Thanks mom! (She has such a nice camera, goodness.)

Yes, my family is a bit ridiculous, but it makes them a lot more fun.

On a last note, this is how everyone should now try to eat cake:

The one year old way. It's quite efficient, really.

Did Spring come your way this May Day?