Tennis Turmoil

When I was in high school, I was the bomb at tennis. I kicked ASS. I even managed to get to state. I would have been #1 in my district if it weren't for those two pesky exchange students. (Seriously, exchange students in high school seem to come over just so they can wipe the floor with everyone else. I digress.)

The point is, tennis used to be my sport. Yesterday, I ended up playing for the first time since last May.

How ridiculous is that?

When we started playing, I started to get really depressed. It was because I was so weak. Part of the reason that I used to enjoy tennis so much was because I was powerful. I could control the ball. I could make my opponent run.

Now? I can hardly keep it in the court. This must be the same type of feeling for someone who stops running and tries to start it up again. It used to be so simple, so easy to go 5 miles. Now they're struggling with one. They don't want to try again. They don't like seeing how far they've fallen.

And oh, how the mighty have fallen. The worst part of it was my shoes. I have tennis shoes, yes... but apparently not at school. I left them at home. I wore running shoes on the court. That's as bad as the guy running on the treadmill in jeans. Maybe worse.

I don't want to be that sad person who stops doing something, tries to pick it up again and toss it after it's difficult. I need to get back into the swing of it.
...Not before I get some real tennis shoes back though. Heh.

Have you ever tried to go back to something that you hadn't done in a long time? What happened when you tried it again?

Grandma Max Syndrome

I've got a problem that seems to have been passed through a few generations. It's something I lovingly call  Grandma Max Syndrome. This syndrome is what happens whenever one of the people who has it gets injured. They'll get injured somehow, and not really make a big deal about it. Or, what that actually means is not even acknowledge it. When my grandma was having a stroke, she exclaimed, "I'm fine!" while at the same time half of her face was drooping. When my mother fell out of the attic, and I was screaming about needing to take her to the hospital, she simply said, "It's okay, let me just lay here for a second." No.

Grandma Max Syndrome is pretty common for a lot of runners too, not wanting to admit we're injured. Thankfully, this is not where Grandma Max Syndrome has hit me. On Thanksgiving day when taking the delicious brie out of the oven, the pan hit my arm.
"Did you burn yourself?", my cousins asked.
"Don't worry about it," as I backed away slowly. Sure, I put my arm under cold water, but soon I was over by the brie, indulging.

What I didn't mention to anyone afterwards was that my arm was still stinging a couple hours later. Sure I'm telling y'all but I don't really mention when I get hurt in the moment. Eh. I only mentioned it after it was noticed, and someone asked, "What happened to your arm?" Today it started blistering. I've never gotten a burn this bad.



Little, but still icky.

 Sometimes you're an idiot you do crazy things for what you love. Meaning cheese baked in crescent rolls.

Other than burnt arms, I got to see one of my best friends from high school today! Due to the fact that they've been remodeling the high school, we decided to go take a look at it. Funny thing was, while we were there, one of the teachers drove up and let us explore inside! Don't you love crazy happenings like that?

Have you ever been injured and just not acknowledge it?

Digging through the past

I was so close. Close to having a good chunk of my things packed up. Close to actually having walking room on the floor of my bedroom. Then I got to what I call The Art Box. Packed up in a specific box last summer, the art box contained quite a few sketchbooks, and hundreds of pieces of paper. All with drawings on them. Somehow, this lead to a cleansing of the pile. Every so often (it's about every year), I go through the pile of drawings, and look to see which ones I don't like anymore. Sure, I see plenty that have awful proportions but that's not what matters. What matters is if the drawings bring out certain memories and such. Some do, some don't.

As I've said before, I used to be a major art person. I even became art student of the year at my high school. That's what makes it so weird to think I never draw these days. I mean, it was a huge part of my life for years! Where did that go?

Most of the time, I don't think about it but going through the pile made me miss it. Along with drawing, there were multiple characters I created and some had very detailed stories. Sure a few of them were ridiculous, but I grew attached. ...it's an art kid thing.

There are some things that I don't think I'll ever return to from my past, but hopefully I can get some of my art self back.

What's something you used to do all of the time that you never do anymore? Why not?

Unwelcome to the Week of Welcome

I know I said this yesterday, but I still can't get over the fact that it's September. That just makes me think of all of the things I need to do before school starts! Moving in, getting books, getting everything together for the first days of school... So much to do! One of the things that isn't really at the top of my "School is here" to do list is Week of Welcome.

Most colleges that I've heard of have a Week of Welcome, where activities for new students happen. These events are created for freshmen and transfers, but honestly they're mostly for freshmen. Which is why I'm not participating in the activities during said week.

Another part of the thing that makes me not want to go has to do with Facebook. Apparently, a lot of the people in the grade below me decided to attend this school, and I keep seeing statuses like this:
"Ohmigosh, Week of Welcome is gonna be SO COOL."
"I know! We'll make it awesome, and we'll hang out even though we never hung out in high school! Woo!"

I don't really want to hang out with the high school class below me. It would just be awkward.

Still, the hanging out with all of the younger high schoolers isn't the only factor of me not going. I also know how these things work, and they're not that amazing.

During my New Student Week at Western, I was happily screamed at by PLUS team members. I met people in a rush during "meeting games", and instantly forgot their names because there was no time to think. I listened to a lot of weird speeches, many with points about being raped as a child and overcoming it. More than I needed to hear. Also, what did they have to do with college? Nothing. It was just strange.

I don't need to go to sessions on being in college, I went to those last year. Despite some weird things, it was alright my freshman year. I just don't need it this year.

Did you participate in a Week of Welcome for your school? What was it like?

Long Run Days and High School Friends

Can I just say I'm sore? Because my rear hurts, and my legs are plain sore. I guess that's what 15 miles does to ya.

I'm going to talk about events that occurred yesterday, because pretty much all I did today was either get ready to run, run, or slowly crawl out of running mode. Also eating. I'm probably going to gain weight, because I've had the craziest appetite. My dad need to stop buying PB Crunch, because I will devour it all.

Anywho, yesterday I ended up hanging out with two of my close high school friends, one of them being my room mate this year. As we wandered around town and watched goofy online videos, I noticed that they really hadn't changed. Or, it didn't feel like it. They may have not changed, but I feel so much more different. Sure, we laugh at a lot of the same things but when it comes to personalities, it feels like they don't fit together quite right. Similar to cogs that are out of sync. I know that it's good to have friends with different personalities than yourself, and I love my friends. However there's something that feels weird about it. We don't seem to want any of the same things in the future. I've always known that we've been different, but I guess I never realized how radically different.

Geez, do I talk enough about being different from high school? Apparently not. Still, that's all I've got for the evening. I hope everyone has a lovely one!

Are you still similar to your high school friends? Or are you very different?

Summer Plans List and High School Reading Materials

Does time just pass much more quickly during the summer? Because it sure feels like it.

I say this mainly because I feel like I didn''t have enough time to finish anything today, despite having as many hours in the day as usual. I guess that's a duh comment.

After almost a week of being home, I've finally made a list of things I would like to do this summer. Some of the goals are goofy, and are similar to goals that little kids make. Go to a drive in movie? It's on the list. Make up a song about a silly topic? Yes, that's there too. There are also a few goals that are "big kid" goals like getting accessories for my apartment next year and marathon training. Pretty much all of my goals involve less time with technology and more time... being a kid? I guess. Sure, I'm taking classes and working for my mom Monday through Friday, but I still need to make time for summer stuff. For the longest time, I wasted summers zoning out to the TV. Dang it, not this summer.

One of my goals that I personally think is the most interesting is my summer reading list. The list isn't full of easy reading, or the next big book. I've decided to fill my list with classic novels. The whole thing started earlier this school year, during my English classes. We'd always mention books that everyone should have read in English class. The Catcher in the Rye? The Lord of The Flies? Everyone read these books in high school, right? Apparently not in my high school. The only two classic high school reading books I remember reading were The Great Gatsby and Of Mice and Men. Hopefully the novels I read will be more like Mice than Gatsby. I hated The Great Gatsby because situations that did not need much detail were overly detailed. The part I remember the most? When one of the women is in a car accident and Fitzgerald goes way too much into detail about how she's been ripped apart. It's explained how her boob was ripped off her chest. That's what I remember.

I'm sure I'll think of other things to add to the list, but for now it's looking pretty good.
Tomorrow is a long run day! Ack. It's always scary when you have to run a distance you've never run before.

What are the High School Reading materials that you've never read? Do you have any suggestions?

Running Errands and Weighty Realizations

My phone has been saying an old post has been publishing all day... Ought to figure out what's going on there.

I can't believe it's already Wednesday. I'm getting all of my days mixed up. Not a good thing for the week to come.

Even though I haven't been in school this week, I've been keeping myself busy. Today was a day of running errands, cleaning, and determining what clothes are needed and for what seasons they are needed for. Because of this, I've been trying on clothes to see what fits. This has led me to realizing just how skinny I've gotten.

I have always been the one to mutter, "Damn skinny bitches" under my breath whenever I've seen some models flaunting about or something onscreen. The weird thing about that is I'm pretty thin myself. I don't think I'll ever let myself realize that, because for the longest time I was the biggest one out of the group.

I've never been overweight. I've been lucky enough to have pretty decent genes, a.k.a. the thin ones on my dad's side. (With the hips and thighs of my mom's side, but still.) I was always average. The only problem with being average is when you hang around with a bunch of dancers. Almost all of my really good friends were on the dance team, meaning they were all stick thin. Just because I wasn't overweight didn't mean I didn't feel fat in comparison.
Since then I've lost weight, and running helps me stay this size. If I quit running, my weight would probably explode. That makes things intimidating. For instance, what's my weight going to be in the future? Will people shamefully look at me and sadly say, "Oh, that Hannah. She used to be skinny, but now... How depressing."

Am I over thinking this? Probably. That's why for now I'll simply look in the mirror and exclaim, "Damn I look good!" Like they always say, it's better to live in the present than be overly stressed about things that might happen.

Other than those thoughts going through my mind, simply been thinking about school, cleaning, packing, money, summer... You know, a lot of things.

What do you tell yourself to keep from worrying about weight?

Feeling Bleh and High School Graduations

I'll be frank. I'm not feeling the greatest. I was hoping that perhaps my snot filled throat and nose would magically be clear of the goop. That really only works if you get sleep if it does work, and I did not get much sleep. Therefore, feeling kind of blah.

Today was my high school's graduation, which meant stopping by a few graduation parties for congrats to a few of the folks I know. Now, I've come back to town since I graduated of course, but I haven't really seen anyone from town since then. It's a weird experience I don't really know how to describe it, but it just feels like you don't fit in as well as you used to. I suppose that should be obvious, but just how much you don't fit it makes it feel so strange.

Since I can't think much, and I'm off again, that's all I have to say for the evening. No questions, I just hope everyone has a lovely night.

Getting Back to Tennis, and Following Dreams For Yourself

I remembered why I started thinking about my changes since high school in the first place. I was thinking about tennis.

When I was in high school, my sport of choice was tennis. Sure I ran, but I was actually doing something in tennis. I went to state last year, and I was a big deal.

I played tennis for the first time since October today. How depressing is that? I was definitely rusty, I can tell you that. I struggled with my follow through. My thumb began to callous again, or at least tried to. I never really thought about how that disappeared until today, when my thumb started to hurt because of it. 

I still won though. Haha.

Despite all of that talk the other day about how I'm not much for the competition of running, I love the idea of races. I was skimming through a magazine listing all sorts of runs coming up, and I was thinking about runs that would be fun. Truthfully, it's not the concept of the race that's fun, it's the experience of a race. Sometimes they're themed, occasionally people dress up... Races can be a blast! There are tons of people around who happen to find running as a source of entertainment like you do. Plus, you can get some cool things from runs. Like in the Truffle Shuffle, I got chocolate. And it was delicious.

Geez, I have got to stop talking about running so much! It's getting ridiculous.Who do I think I am?

It's Monday, so that means I have a lesson that I have learned from a fictional character. Today's lesson is sort of backwards, but it all adds up in the end. Today's lesson comes from Legally Blonde. Yes, really.

Our heroine starts out with a goal. She plans to go to Harvard Law School to reclaim the love of her ex. However, as she continues on in her journey, she discovers that going to Harvard isn't going to get her ex back. Instead, she realizes it's something she wants to do, and she wants to do the best she can.

The lesson is that you shouldn't follow dreams for others, but for yourself. Yeah, I guess that doesn't really come to light necessarily in that movie, but the idea stuck with me. I've heard sad tales of following loved ones to places, then breaking up and being left with nothing. Alone in a place they didn't even want to be in the first place.
I just know that I never am going to let someone else cancel out my dreams so I can be with them. If they really cared, they'd wait for me. Maybe it wouldn't work out, but it might also not work out even if I did cancel out my dreams for you. It might sound a little selfish, but we all need to have a little selfishness in our lives.

What is a dream you could never give up for someone else? Is there a dream you would give up?

Changes in Myself, Considering Yourself a Runner, and Differences in Running Practices

I remembered one of the other things that I need to get done in the future: Get a haircut. My hair is getting really long, and something new needs to occur.

Today I thought about how much I've changed since just last year. It's crazy. Last year I was known as the art chick, the girl who was the only non-stoner among stoners. I didn't get that great of grades. Now, I get really good grades. I'm a girl who runs a lot. Plus the thing is, I feel like I've changed mentally. Sure, there are a lot of habits that I have that I've always had, but somehow I know that how I think about certain things is very different. When mentioning that I'd changed from "That art chick" to "That girl that runs a lot", I was greeted with,
"Well that's not much better."
... Um, excuse me? What the hell does that mean? I'll let you know that running is amazing, thank you very much!

Since I'm on the subject of running, I also thought about my standing as a runner today.

Somehow, it sort of feels like I can't really call myself a runner still, but then I think about what that means. I don't go more than a day without running. I make sure that I schedule time for certain runs during the week. I think about how far I can go. I talk about running far too often. Still, I start to think, "I'm not a runner. I don't run as much as other people do, and I don't care so much about speed."
The mileage thing worries me in training, because I've heard of some people running a ton a miles before things. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of training schedules that say I'm doing just fine. Really, what does that matter? I care about running. I run a decent amount. I should feel proud to say that indeed, I am a runner.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this here in the blog, but I have ran on a cross country team since middle school. Sure, I ran back then, but I was never very into it back then. I started to wonder, "Why do I like to run so much now?", and the answer is simple: Competition.
I hate running with other people, because I'm always comparing myself to then. If I'm running too fast, I look like a jerk. If I'm running too slow, I look like a loser. Running with my sister? Probably one of the worst ideas. Especially since one thing I happen to do is breathe quite heavily. Sure, it may sound bad, but that's just how I breathe. However, when I'm running with my sister and I'm breathing heavily, this happens:
Chloe: "Jeez, why the heck are you breathing so hard?"
Me: *tries to stop breathing so hard, ends up hyperventilating*
It's not a good cycle. When I run, it's not for periods of time. It's for miles. I've read both ways of running are good. I simply prefer my way.

This summer, I think I'm going to try running with people again. I may be slower, but it'll be nice to have company for longer runs if I do. Who knows? Maybe they'll push me to go faster.

I think I've either hit or gone over 500 miles in these shoes. Dangit, I didn't want to get new ones, but I'm pretty sure I need to. Goodness!

On a final note, I really want this:

An art student made it, and it's currently on display outside of the art building. I want it. I can set it in my dorm!

When was the last time you realized you've changed a lot? How did you change?

Things I Have Learned From Fictional Characters

It's Monday, so you know what that means. It's Things I Have Learned From Fictional Characters day! And today, I'd like to talk about something that I might not have learned from fictional characters necessarily, but it most definitely is a lesson that has been solidified by fictional characters.

The lesson? Nobody likes a complainer.


Whomp, whomp.

 It's actually not a bad thing to complain once in awhile. Complaining is good to get out of your system, but when it comes to talking to others, it's not the best trait to come out.

For instance, I'd like to recall a situation from back in high school. There was a friend of mine who was the nicest guy, and we had science class together. Yet if I ever ended up saying anything about how I was feeling... well, here's an example of how some of our conversations went:

Me: Eh, my head hurts today.
Friend: Well MY head hurts because I got hit by a CAR this weekend!

Jeezo! I was just stating a fact of how I felt, I wasn't looking for a competition. However, whenever I started talking to him, I somehow ended getting sucked into a battle of complaints. That's a battle that no one wins... even if you end up winning. Hooray, your life sucks more! Hooray indeed.

Being around complainers is extremely draining, and it's never a fun thing to hang around. This especially goes for blogs. I know that when I start writing out a blog that starts sounding extremely negative, I have to stop myself and look at what I've said. I know that I haven't always done well at not being Negative Nancy, but I try.

Try not to be a complainer, because if you are... Well, do you like hanging around complainers?

Is there someone in your life that is an extreme complainer? How do you deal with them?

The Difference Between Fitting In and Standing Out

Four people who graduated from my high school in 2010 go to this college, and two of them are my room mate and myself. The other two I see from time to time around campus, offering a friendly hello. One thing that has happened quite a bit has been thinking I see one of them when really it’s someone I’ve never seen before in my life. I remember what these people look like of course, I grew up with them. Then why would I have so much trouble mistaking others for them?

It’s because they’re doing too good of a job of fitting in.

If you stopped by a college campus anytime soon, you would notice an onslaught of students in jeans and sweatshirts. This combo can also be mixed with workout pants, winter coats, and simple shirts. For the girls, you’ll probably see a lot of headbands with their hair tied up. On the feet, you’ll see tennis shoes or Uggs.
Sure, it’s comfortable. Sure, it’s what everyone is wearing. Alas, then you end up mixing in with the crowd too well. Think about it like this: You’re applying for a job. The other interviewees are all very similar to you in skill, work ethic, etc. Why should the business hire you?

Now I’m not saying you should go around dressing up in a clown suit or something bizarre like that. However, I’d like to think I’d rather be wearing a dress than jeans. Add a dash of color. Make yourself stand out, but in a good way!

Would you like to be well known in the way Leonardo Dicaprio is, or like Heidi Montag? That’s how it’s like standing out in a good or bad way.

If sweatshirts and jeans are the way you like to dress, that’s fine too. Just try not to fade into the crowd!

How do you stand out?

Blissfully Ignorant and Visiting Places of the Past

My biggest problem with blogging is trying to start the post of the day. Once I actually start writing, it's hard to get me to stop!

Today included an impromptu trip back to the good ol' hometown. I needed to get a copy of my high school transcripts and decided that I would put my change into my savings account.

Do you ever have those moments where you're blissfully ignorant of a situation, then as you leave slowly come to a realization? That was me in the bank today. As I tucked away my box of change and five dollars in ones into my savings, the women hands me a flyer. "This is a great tool to use online for saving money on car payments, cell phones, etc..." I cheerfully listened to her, but as she talked I noticed her tone and expression were that of the sympathetic kind. She looked at me like I was someone down on their luck... I bet she thought I was a stripper or something with my bizarre deposit. In case you're wondering, the ones were part of my monthly savings I'm trying to do.

Maybe that wasn't the case, but it sure seemed like it.

Getting my transcript meant walking back into the education institute known as my high school. I was only in there for about two minutes, but it was the strangest feeling. I didn't recognize ANYONE. It's only been a year, yet... Weird.

I suppose that's all I have to talk about for the day. Have a lovely evening!

When was the last time you walked into your high school? What was it like?

Old Friends, Old Setbacks

My dad is watching The Proposal right now. I think it's safe to say that living in a house full of females for more than two decades has melted his masculinity. I wish I liked that movie more, but I just don't feel like Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds have enough time to actually form their relationship into love. Yes, this is me over thinking a movie.

Today I dined with two of my old friends for lunch. Being with them brought back feelings I wished I didn't have. Feelings of... inadequacy.

The weird thing is while I was talking I realized I've been doing some really great things. I did well for myself first term, I've been working hard at making my life into something special. Heck, I'm training for a half marathon! Yet in the presence of these friends, I feel unaccomplished. It could be their expressions, their tone of voice, the way they talk about their lives. Strange thing was, when I thought about it later I realized that only one of the friends was like this, and it was the one who I used to be closer to. She felt pretentious, really. The friend who was more distant before seemed interested, and made the conversation feel more equal.

What do we do about these friends? I've started to learn that I shouldn't hang out with people that make me feel like a lower life form. It's just strange because I've been close to this friend for a long time. Is it better to have a friend who makes you feel like a loser or to lose a friend that you've created many great memories with? It's a hard thing to decide.

I woke up at 11 today. That is the latest I have woken up in a freakin' long time. Wonder how much later I'll wake up this break. This might mess with my 8:00 am classes next term.

Christmas Loot, Running With Bad Fuel, and Old Friends

How was Christmas day for everyone? Or, how was yesterday in general? I had a lovely day, in case you were wondering. I also received many lovely gifts. Some things that I got I didn't even know I wanted, but as soon as I unwrapped them I thought, "Oh my gosh I needed this!" Well... maybe I didn't really need it, but I really liked.
In my family, we actually enjoy receiving clothing so I got quite a few clothing items. I won't show the clothes, but I will show you some of my other gifts.

My grandma gave me Apples to Apples, and I am seriously glad she did. It is one of the funniest games to play ever in my personal opinion.
I asked specifically for the three books on the right. My personal library now has a touch more of Internet-based literature via The Book of Awesome and Stuff White People Like. I am currently trying to see just how white I actually am.
I also asked for that harmonica necklace, and it is a pretty cool necklace. People notice it and it's fun to play with.
The running calendars are really cool. I can't wait for January to start recording in the book! Right now I use my school planner.
The tea set is from my aunt, who I didn't even know was getting me a present! How sweet!
Other gifts not pictured include some head wear (hats), a necklace from my sister and the game Balderdash from my sister. I had never played Balderdash before, but it is hilarious. I suggest you play it.
Yes, I realize I'm pretty spoiled. At least I admit it, right?

Christmas isn't all about gifts of course. We had a lovely day with some of my family and played games until late in the night. No one knew that it was 1 am by the time we were done! Simply put, it was high up there on the good Christmases scale.

I went on a run today, and boy my body let me know it was not pleased. My body hasn't seen a decent amount of fruits and veggies in days. I honestly haven't been eating extremely large quantities, but it's only been pretty much sugar. A chocolate Santa for breakfast on Christmas day? Nuh uh.
During the run, the body bitched me out. Oh, it moved perfectly fine. However, the stomach was screaming. I did manage to get 10 miles in! I'm happy about that.

I visited one of my best friends from high school this evening! It felt kind of weird though. Mainly because she has a boyfriend and acts a bit like she's married now. Not something I'm used to. Well, she's still herself. Funny thing, we got the exact same GPA for our first term/semester at college! We rock.

I hope my rambling wasn't too much for y'all out there! I hope you all enjoyed your lovely holidays!

What's an interesting gift you received this year?