Making Big Decisions

Yesterday, I did something a little crazy.

I spent $145 dollars without remorse. Without thinking about it. I won't even get anything from it. I have to pay for what I paid for. How ridiculous is that?

...Actually, that's not really true I guess.

Yesterday I paid for a tee shirt.
Yesterday I paid for a few months of training, either by myself or whoever wants to.
Yesterday I paid for the inevitable pain and soreness to come.
Yesterday I paid to have a day on my calendar filled, with a few hours every week.
Yesterday, I registered for The Portland Marathon.

And the part about not thinking about it? I guess I could say I didn't think about it when filling out the form, but I certainly did take a large chunk of time to think about it before. This has been on my mind for weeks, maybe even months. Really, I probably started thinking about it after my half marathon in January, but it was fleeting thoughts then. After the Cascade, people would say, "Are you going for a marathon now?"

I thought, "No way. A half marathon is one thing, but a full marathon? Now you're crazy."

Granted, the thought is still crazy hence the extensive amount of time thinking about it. I went through the thoughts, "Will I have enough time to train?" or "Can I actually motivate myself to do it?" I gave myself a million reasons why, but the didn't matter. Then I decided to ask why not?

And there wasn't really a good reason. My mileage has been going up automatically. I've looked for training schedules, and I'd already be ahead of schedule.

I'd like to be able to say I ran a marathon before my twenties. Just because that would be really cool. And now, I kind of have to.

I don't mind.

I'm sure it'll register with me in a few days, but for now all I can think is "Huh."

What big decision have you made recently?