Beauty Pageants and Scale Speak

Well, Blogger was having issues while I was trying to update last night, so last night's post has been posted tonight.
The weekend, it starts tonight! Yes! And, considering the fact that we get Monday off, it's a four day weekend!

Speaking of the weekend, interestingly enough a family friend is participating in the Miss Oregon pageant this weekend. I've never known anyone who's been in one of these pageants, and I wonder what it's like to participate in something like that. I do like to dress up. I'd just need to get some abs. Speaking of which...

I'm thinking something is up with my body. My weight has been fluctuating like crazy, daily. So the whole thing started last Sunday, and I saw that my weight was quite a bit higher than usual. (I weigh myself weekly, mainly because my runner's log has a section for it and training screws up my appetite.) Because I let a thing like this get to me, I decided to watch where the scale was headed for the week. I've seen it go down and up in pounds. And I don't believe that I've been eating that much to cause such a stir. Something doesn't seem right, but I could be paranoid.

That's all from me tonight!

Have you ever seen/participated in a beauty pageant?

Bizarre Toe Issues and Phone Drama

Recently my middle toe had been bothering me. I had no clue just why it hurt so bad, but it felt like it was bruised. Studying that toe, I didn't see anything that looked wrong, just rough skin. Then, after a closer look, a though occurred: Was there a blister under my toenail?

The answer? Yes.

I think I've disgusted you all enough by discussing the fact that yes, underneath my toenail, so I don't think you need to see prove. 3/4ths of the area underneath the nail is blister. Just thought you needed to know that extra little tidbit.

I thought that the delightful information about my toenail would be all that I had to offer tonight, but life decided to slap me in the face with more fun experiences. That aren't so fun.
Earlier today, I went to the restroom, walked to my car, and looked into my purse to find something was not there. The pink rubbery case was nowhere in sight, so I dashed back to the bathroom, not even five minutes after I had left. Can you see where this is going?
Yep, my phone was stolen. Or might be missing. But probably stolen.
My frantic search in my car was followed by a complete breakdown crouching under the steering wheel. It wasn't the fact that I'd need a new phone that freaked me out. Of course, that's a factor. The thing that instantly went to mind was I'd done another thing wrong. How I had failed again. You see how this is a reoccurring fear?
I try so hard to be responsible, to remember things. But time and time again I keep on screwing up. Over and over again, making dumb mistakes. Does this mean I'm destined to be in a depressingly mundane and idiotic job, just because it's all I can handle? God I hope not.
So after my cry (or more like sobfest), I reported it missing to public safety, the building I was in, and realized there was nothing else I could do about it. Geez, I couldn't even do that right, because I was waiting until I could talk to my mom to see about canceling it, but she said I should have already done it. I thought it would be smart to wait to talk to her. Apparently not. Just another notch in the crappy feeling post.
I wish I had something more positive to say, but that's what going on in my life. So it is what appears here. May tomorrow be better.
Back to the toe thing, What's the weirdest way exercise has affected your body?

Memories in Every Mile

So I drive my family's minivan, right?
Well, this van has become a special part of me, I suppose. I like driving it, and I don't seem to mind that it's not a cool car. I smile at the sadly duct taped mirror. I revel in the fact that the front seats are heated. I do not question the bizarre burn mark on the back seat, that no one has a clue how it got there. I simply like my ride. I'm not very good at driving little cars because I'm so used to the van. It even has a name, which it received during school this year from one of my friends.

So Penelope, I have only this to say.



What is this thing you call safety while driving?



Nicely done on going 200,000 miles. May we drive 200,000 more. Or at least for awhile longer.

Other than that, today consisted of going to school, running, and working. Yep. And that's pretty much the idea behind tomorrow, except no running and less work. Dang, I need to make lunch and study up... bah.

What makes your car/bike/mode of transportation special?

Making Errors and Making Bread

I'll be honest with you. I'm feeling not so great today, especially since I failed at a task that a trained monkey could accomplish. And you know how I feel about feeling like an idiot.

I did make bread today though, and that was pretty cool.

I wanted to see if I should make bread to have with peanut butter or eggs instead of English muffins in the morning. I shall test it out tomorrow!

I did try a little bite though. Pretty good! I got the recipe from a cookbook for teens... because I'm just that advanced.

I'll be honest with y'all out there. I don't know much about cooking. When I was in high school I always wanted to get into Foods class so that I could learn how to at least make something. Geez, I barely know how to boil water. I can bake alright, but cooking? I dunno.
Next school year though, I need to be able to cook. I don't want to eat out constantly, and Ramen isn't fulfilling. Therefore this summer I'm going to practice. I've been studying cheap food, scouring for things that sound healthy. This bread is one of the things.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Or do anything that requires work. I want to read, draw, try to make up a song on the piano and create imaginary vacations in my mind. I don't feel like getting the chance to screw up on something in the work setting again.

Hey, the bread turned out, so I'm not that incompetent I guess.
Hope everyone has a lovely evening!

Do you cook? How did you get into cooking?

Stubborness With Age, and Midnight in Paris

At what age do you become too stubborn to look at other sides of an argument? When is it that whatever you've learned is the only way that things can be learned? I ask this because lately I've started to notice that my dad doesn't really like anything new. When we go to a movie, he only ever thinks it's okay. Everything is simply "okay". I also gave him a book that he might find interesting, because I know how he likes history. It's about the history of the United States, but it's told from the views of the natives, the slaves, and all of those who aren't in command. Now, I'm pretty sure that my dad was taught the way of Christopher Columbus being the most amazing guy out there, and just discovering America like he meant to. (Fact: He wasn't, and he didn't.) This book happens to show another side of that story, and I don't think he wants to think about it. Is that just his personality? Or do we get to an age in our lives where we simply think that all of the things we currently like are the only things we can like for the rest of our days? It's probably the former, but I can't help but think otherwise.

Today I went to the movies with my sister, and we saw Midnight in Paris. It made me want to go into movie review mode, so here we go.

I have never seen a Woody Allen movie before today. I'd always been told that he filmed "more artistically than others", so I braced myself for whatever was to come, perhaps being a movie that drags on far too long. However, as the movie progressed I became intrigued with his unique film style. Maybe he doesn't do this for all of his films, but I'd need to see them to know for sure. For instance, one of the things I found interesting was during the times people talked to each other. In most movies, you'll see the camera flip from one person to another, to however is talking or perhaps have them in the same frame. That was not the case here. There were some scenes where the main person was having a conversation with someone a few feet off camera, or have the action focused on another situation as the two characters we were listening to conversed in the background. Were there lingering camera shots? Of course there were, the whole beginning is five minutes of shots of Paris while a song played.
One thing that Allen does not have is subtlety. When he wants you to not root for a certain person, he definitely makes sure you won't root for them. Rachel McAdams plays the fiance, who is the antagonist of this story. She plays Regina George in Mean Girls, right? Well picture that... only 100 times more unlikeable. Really, is it so hard for people today to agree with the idea of Romanticism that you have to make the fiance and her parents that unlikeable?

Now, about the movie itself. The movie is about Gayle (or however you spell the male version of that name). He goes off to Paris with his fiance and his fiance's parents, and it's a city he adores. He moons over the city and the 1920s, while Miss I-hate-anything-my-fiance-says bickers at him about having stupid dreams, and how his novel probably won't pan out. Better to do something in a city you hate that makes you completely miserable than at least try to do something you like, right? She also happens to have the hots for one of her guy friends that's there with his wife as well. The guy friend happens to be one of those people who will ramble off information about EVERYTHING, because he's an expert in EVERYTHING.
One night, while walking the streets alone and taking a seat on some stairs, Gayle hears the chimes indicating midnight, and discovers a whole new world. Or, old world actually as he gets transported to the 1920s.

The magical situation in which Gayle finds himself is whimsical, and I was completely drawn into it. Still, with all of the magic and wonder of the past, it's nice to see that we actually end up learning a lesson that doesn't completely throw away common sense. It's wonderful to get caught up in the moment, but one must take a step back and look at the big picture as the hero experiences for us. I suppose that it's good to know who to not like in the situation, but the setting in the past is so exciting that it's not really necessary to push their nastiness to the extreme.
Despite there being a few irritating things, the movie left me with a serene smile glued to my face. The magic, wonder and Romanticism made me want to dream a little more of things that make me happy. Also, I'd never really been a fan of Paris (I simply didn't care), but now I realize just what a beautiful city it is.

Class tomorrow? Blah. I guess every week started is that much closer do being done, right? Eh.

If you could live in any city, where would you live? This movie made me think about this. I don't know where I'd want to live, but there's still a lot of cities that I want to visit.

Long Runs, Age, and Wisdom

What, it's Saturday? When did that happen?

I had my long run today... which was SIXTEEN MILES! Woohoo! A tad sore, toes hurt a little, but nothing too out of the ordinary. No stopping either! Ah.

Lately I havent' been pleased with my body. I don't know why, but I've been looking really big. Before this week, I looked fine but now there's more padding. Is it my mind playing tricks on me? Have I really gotten bigger? I haven't checked my weight, but I don't think I could gain an extreme amount of weight in that little time especially since I haven't been eating that many calories. Have I? Augh, I'd rather not think about it, or at least complain about it to y'all anymore.

On my run today, a thought floated through my mind. I'm stupid. However, I'm not saying that in a belittling way. I suppose a better way to say it would be that I'm ignorant, but somehow stupid feels like it fits.
So I'm nineteen, right? Well, there's a lot about the world that I don't know. There's a lot of academia that I haven't learned, there's a lot of common sense that I haven't learned... There's just a lot that I don't know. Whenever I want to sound smart, or whenever I type something that I think sounds intelligent I instantly become nervous. Do I sound pretentious? Do I sound like a complete idiot? I suppose that it's better to actually throw things out there into the world and test how others react instead of keeping thoughts sealed up from fear of looking foolish. This is kind of along the idea of the thing I was talking about with knowing where the line is. Then again, did I sound like an idiot with the writing in that? Augh.

I hate looking foolish, because I feel sad when I see others looking foolish. I pity them. I don't want people to pity me, I want people to respect me. But with that respect, once again I realize that there's a lot that I don't know. I hate that there's so much I don't know, that's why I'm constantly intrigued by learning new facts and searching for more knowledge in obscure things.

Yes, I'll learn things through time, but that takes... well, you know, time. It's kind of the comparison game. Do I know more than this person my age? I want to show people that I'm intelligent for my age! Wishful thinking? Of course, but that's the basis of being human isn't it? It's a big world out there, but I'm interested in having the world being intrigued by me. I want the world to want me. I want to feel special is the main thing.

My sister has convinced me to come to a coffee shop with her to study, so that's where I sit now. She blames me for taking away from her precious study time, which ticks me off. I told her that I was going on my long run right? I told her that it would take a long time. Long run days usually mean the whole day involves it somehow. What was she doing while I was gone for a little over two and a half hours? Watching movies that she's already watched. Can you see where I think I shouldn't be in the wrong?
Breathe. Let it go, no matter how much it ticks me off that I get blamed for things I shouldn't get in trouble for. Breaaaaaaathe.

What's the best age-based wisdom that you've ever received?

Bakery Breakfast, Libraries and Travelling Solo

I love the feeling of a nice venturing day. Those days where you happen to do things that aren't scheduled, but just errands for things you want to do? That's what I mean.

I started out the morning with a bakery breakfast with two of my friends. I'm not used to eating breakfast at 10 though, so I naturally woke up at 8:30 and waited.
I didn't do much after that until I walked down to the library. Oh goodness, I love the library. It turns out that my card was expired though! Huh. It felt like I had just gotten it renewed. I went in search of only a few specific books...

... and as you can see, I got a little overexcited. I tend to. The book on the top intrigues me most because it's a collection of essays from women who have traveled the world alone.
As I've talked about before, I really want to travel somewhere. Yeah, I know I'm not the only one out there who wants to travel, but I'm not talking about family vacations somewhere. I really want to go somewhere I can explore, even if it's like California. Actually, I really want to go to California and explore things like the Chinese Theater, The Walk of Fame, and Hollywood. Whenever I mention this, I get the reply of, "Okay, you should do that! Who would go with you?"
That's where I hold my tongue. Truthfully, I want to go by myself. However, when I throw that idea out there I instantly hear the warnings of how a girl shouldn't travel alone, because it's dangerous for a girl, blah blah blah. I know that women will always have an elevated risk in traveling, but I'm hoping this book could educate me on safer solo travel and other solo traveler know-how.

Plus there were groceries that were purchased today. I should have bought more green peppers.

So I can eat them like this.

Long run tomorrow... Oh dear. I'm scared, especially since I've been feeling a little off. I hope I'm not getting injured.

Have you ever travelled solo?